By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
