wakey wakey hands off snakey
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Your penis caused this!
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