even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
