i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
