How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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