So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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