she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
