Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
