I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
