Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
is wine microwaveable?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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