i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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