Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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