Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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