I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
