If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
