Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
