i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
