You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a beard to bite.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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