if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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