We left an ass print on the piano.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
