I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's never too late to be topless.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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