Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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