I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
