We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
