That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
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