Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
