Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he shaved USA in his pubs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
