I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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