I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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