She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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