So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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