I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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