If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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