note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
