so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
