Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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