I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
