if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
