last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
