I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
