so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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