i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize