So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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