Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize