I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
