Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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