I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
