i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He passed out mid-signature
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
