No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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