What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
