Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
