Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
