Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
