He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED