You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life