I got chris browned last night
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
