Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.