Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
