Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
