Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i now understand why vodka
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
