I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
