You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
