If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
