You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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