i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
