the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
