I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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