im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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