Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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