maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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