i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I had to cum in my sink.
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