I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
