So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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